Tag Archives: Twin Peaks

It is happening again. (YAY!/I hope it’s good.)

We are taking a break from our regularly scheduled programming to bring you a message about painting and excitement for the Twin Peaks new season premiering this Sunday and of course, guinea pigs.

This year I’ve been working on some more paintings that inject my sweet little guineas into glorious television shows. I started this series last year with my Danger Dixon parody, Danger Who number 10 and Danger Who number 11 , iPiggie , and now I give you the ladypigs of Twin Peegs.

But first, because Laura always comes first, I did a little photoshoot of Ozma acting as Laura being menaced by BOB in Fire Walk With Me:

I’m sure you can all tell this is an exact and painstaking recreation. I didn’t have to convince Ozma to walk in that direction and be menaced several times.

Funko Bob is super intimidating.

There we go. Fully menaced Ozma-Laura, running away…

In the actual paintings I decided to cast Merricat as Audrey Horne (my favorite Twin Peaks high schooler):


Ozma as Shelly Johnson:

Here’s Ozma not even really looking at herself as Shelly.

And Miss Peregrine herself as the Log Lady (my favorite Twin Peaks adult lady. I have a log pillow and vaguely debated trying to get my mom to buy me a real log when visiting the Twin Peaks section of a gift shop in Snoqualmie Falls as a teenager):

Peregrine’s log saw something that night.

Peregrine also got some time with a small toy version of her character:

In the White Lodge – which is clearly not my bedroom -, they allow attempted hair cuts the same way I get them – guinea pig teeth.

Peregrine starts to take this whole thing a little more seriously.

Each of the full paintings is available on a variety of objects/in several fashions (posters, coffee mugs you can fill with fish coffee or damn fine coffee, either way, phone cases, my favorite the throw pillow, etc.) on my Redbubble page.

Guinea pigs love art work. And posing for pictures. And pie. And Special Agent Dale Cooper most of all, but also Albert.

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My log saw something that night.

43. The Lost Mind – Christopher Pike

I never read Christopher Pike’s books when I was in middle school. They were rampant, and shelved right next to all kinds of 1990s YA pulp that I did read, but for some reason I thought they would be “too adult” for me or “too scary.” I now know that I was clearly deranged in my thinking after reading The Lost Mind. I’ve acquired several Christopher Pike books now and I intend to read them, despite my experience with The Lost Mind, which was terrible to say the least. Next to nothing in this book made sense to me and for the most part I thought the story was constructed using a blender and some random ideas that seem like good ideas until you put them together: girl wakes up covered in blood not knowing who she is – good idea; girl turns out to be a total asshole – sort of good idea, I do like Laura Palmer; random Egyptian mysticism – bad idea…because although it starts with amnesia and maybe this girl could have been an asshole and a practitioner of mysticism, these elements never really come together in a sensible way in this book.  It needed Special Agent Dale Cooper to sort it out in a dream.

Mixtape 9:

1. Bang! – The Raveonettes

2. Twist of Cain – Danzig

3. Crying Lightning – Arctic Monkeys

4. Jennifer’s Body – Hole

5. Hank is Dead – Red Fang

6. Secret Plans – Eagles of Death Metal

7. Warsaw – Joy Division

8. Naked Cousin – PJ Harvey

9. The Bat’s Mouth – Bat for Lashes

10. Turn My Blue Sky Black – The Mooney Suzuki

11. You Think I Ain’t Worth a Dollar but I Feel Like a Millionaire – Queens of the Stone Age

12. Who Was in My Room Last Night? – Butthole Surfers

13. Lithium – Nirvana

14. Idle Hands – The Gutter Twins

15. Gone Forever – The Raveonettes

16. Walkin’ with the Beast – The Gun Club

17. Everybody’s Under Your Spell – The Duke Spirit

18. Ablivion – UNKLE

I can’t believe I ever thought Pike’s books would be too scary for me. Too dumb, maybe, I should have just read the blurbs.

Look into Belvedere’s eyes – if you can – you will find the ability to coherently develop a plot about mind switching there.

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Meanwhile, in that subplot no one cares about with James Hurley…

15. The Scrapbook of Frankie Pratt – Caroline Preston

The author of this book works in an archive. This explains a lot, like the thinness of the story when held up against the coolness of the imagery. The clipped art in this book is really cool and sometimes tailoring a story to the images you have available can be very tricky. In the archive I work for, the requests and the images available rarely match up perfectly so I understand. And people never request the super cool stuff, if only they really knew what was back there – they’d want to touch it and that just cannot be.

Anyway, the story is a little cliché: poor girl works as house-help, meets older, mysterious rich man, highjinks ensue, advantage is nearly taken, she’s paid to go away… This one time, I read a short story called “How I Met My Husband” by Alice Munro that subverts this kind of meeting of an older, mysterious man story and that was a pleasant read. Anyway, so Miss Frankie leaves for college and then she has a roomie from New York who shows her the richer side of life and then she does some stuff, mind expands, she’s totally writing about it, that’s college for you, oh wait, there’s that dude with the mysterious past of oldness again and will she meet him in Paris? Will she? I dare you not to raise one eyebrow in anticipation of how that situation will work out. But I love him!

Mortemer is tired of trying to convince Twiglet not to flee to Paris: “Fine, live in squalor like the pseudo-bohemian you’ve always wanted to be. Go for it. I’ll tell your mother.”

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That gum you like is going to come back in style.

35. Book of Shadows – Alexandra Sokoloff

I enjoy reading Alexandra Sokoloff’s books. They tend to be spritely and have quickly paced stories, which makes perfect sense as she is a screenwriter as well. They are also a little easy to dismiss, which is the problem I have with mysteries in general. I don’t read them terribly often, but from what I’ve experienced recommending them, one-shot mysteries can be very disposable and what people are really looking for is someone to follow – the DA, the Miss Marple, the bounty hunter, the two weird guys who will go into the swamp or the abandoned house, or the woman who keeps hearing random dead people telling her where they’re buried. The victims are rarely all that interesting. Sure, they tend to have sordid pasts or have been in the wrong place at the wrong time…but they’re not the focus unless it’s Twin Peaks and even then Laura wasn’t the end focus thanks to the awesomeness of Special Agent Dale Cooper. So maybe I just prefer to watch mysteries. The Killing, though, man, I just can’t say anything about that end result yet except a hearty, “Sheesh.” Bookwise I’ve dabbled into categorized as mystery novelists Elmore Leonard and Joe R. Lansdale and Charlaine Harris (although none of what I’ve read of any of these authors was very straightforwardly mystery). I’ve been told I might enjoy Janet Evanovich like masses of people across the nation but a. that’s a hamster and b. I’m not ready and I’ve got a lot of other books to go through. There are a lot of dead people to read about.

Anyway, Book of Shadows is definitely a mystery but it has supernatural elements like a sexy witch and ritual murder. There were some trips to the dump and the subtle harassment of a super-tool goth musician who was a red herring and that was so shocking. Overall, I would have watched it if it was a monster-of-the-week episode of Supernatural and enjoyed it a little more because there would have been some trusty guides to deal with the circumstances. Reading it was all right, a bit of a brain candy-style experience and I do not remember the name of the main character but the story flowed and the ending was a tad on the cheesy side. The ending of The Harrowing was a bit on the wonky side for me as well, so maybe Sokoloff has Stephen King’s ending syndrome where every so often, the reveal just blows for no good reason.

Snorecery. Twiglet prefers Leonard’s brand of problematic magic.

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Cannibals, Cassette Tapes, & Crumples

74. Death by Cannibal: Criminals With an Appetite for Murder – Peter Davidson

After reading The Devil’s Rooming House and Crackpot: the Obsessions of John Waters I became slightly more interested in reading some more true crime stories. As I have mentioned previously, I enjoy the programs about crime featuring the narration of Bill Kurtis and knowing that John Waters is just like those little old ladies at the library consuming true crime made me slightly more adventurous. Reading Death by Cannibal let me know that I am not as desensitized to cannibalism as I thought and that reading about it truly bothers me. I thought all those zombie movies would have prepared me better, but, I am a bit squeamish and not into personal injury. Anyway, the events in Death by Cannibal were perhaps a bit too close to home for me to put aside because, not unlike in (the book I have yet to finish) The Stranger Beside Me (Ann Rule’s account of working right next to Ted Bundy at a crisis line of all places), I am concerned for my own personal safety and I’ve seen firsthand how different people are from how they present themselves in public. I have a van; I do not need to get into your windowless one to find candy. Thankfully, at this point I am a bit too old to fit the part of Ted Bundy’s victims now and I will most likely never help anyone load anything into a van that I don’t already know – thanks, Silence of the Lambs!

Death by Cannibal discusses five different cannibals that aren’t famous. They may be famous in their home areas, but as far as nationwide fame, they’re not widely known. Maybe it’s because they’re not from Wisconsin. I love that state, but it has produced two very famous cannibals. The things people do to prevent boredom, I mean, really. At least some Midwesterners choose to create art without killing anyone, digging anybody up, or chloroform. Now that I’m done digressing, one of the cannibals was a history teacher with a bit of a self-esteem problem, one was a pedophile who would dress up as a cop and prowl around schools, one wanted to be a vampire, one kidnapped developmentally challenged women off the streets and put them in his pit while “running a church” to avoid taxes, and one murdered his wife’s sister, practically beat his wife to death, and tape recorded himself describing the absolutely horrific things that he did to them. Pretty strong stuff with mild sensational photos on the glossy pages in the middle. I don’t really recommend reading it if you want to stay interested in eating any kind of meat. It would be good vegetarian propaganda.

One more digression since I’m discussing true crime: I have noticed that many shows on Investigation Discovery (America’s fastest growing network) are using the tones from Twin Peaks in their soundtracks. Whenever anyone needed to make a super-serious face or a solitary scene from outside was being shown (remember that red light?) on Twin Peaks there were these tones and now I’m hearing them attached to other murder investigations, it’s a bit weird. I have the soundtrack to Twin Peaks on cassette and I’m pretty proud of it. Plus I can still listen to it in my car…since the CD player broke over a year ago and the cigarette lighter set my ipod connector on fire. Tapes forever!

 

Danger Crumples would like everyone to know that he is an herbivore, solely an herbivore. And he likes ice cubes when it’s hot outside.

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