Tag Archives: Team America: World Police


Tomorrow, I will be at Walker Stalker in Chicago! Tomorrow.

And this time, I am also planning on showing how my book cover parodies have become far more plentiful than they used to be. In the beginning, it was just Danger Crumples transforming Christopher Pike’s 1990s YA output, as seen here –

I do think with Danger Crumples I may actually have parodied these covers into being more coherent stories. Oops.

However, now that most of these are only available as postcards and I had more plays on piggie names in mind – more pigs have gotten their own book series and three of the paintings will be on display for the first time and also possibly the last time, I tend to make new things for every show that I do because I have a lot of ideas and very inspiring piglets.

Peregrine, crime boss and queen of my herd, finally got her own book series – Prey Street. And once again she meets with her most frightening enemy – the phone. This time she let Merricat pick it up, as if that would help.


Finny got a series too! Finnybumps, it’s very specific and allows him to intimidate Salem, just as he tries to from across the room every day.


This is my favorite new book cover parody. Ozma’s 80s horror paperback. There’s always been something ominous and yet flashy about how cute she is, which could only be expressed by painting her while drinking a lot of Tab.


Walker Stalker! Tomorrow! I know I’m no Jerry, who I won’t be able to see because I’ll be at my table, and I’m clearly not King Ezekiel, who I won’t be able to mention Hellraiser: Hellworld to (um, that movie has Khary Payton, future apparent (I haven’t seen it) downer Superman Henry Cavill, and the best but somewhat -to put it lightly – misused person on Vikings, Katheryn Winnick all in it, what a strange world we live in), but I hope someone comes and sees me anyway because I have a very wide range of stickers this time.


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Sir thwacks you on the knees

45. The Headmaster Ritual – Taylor Antrim

This book read like an MFA project; all the way down to having a few too many characters and a title appropriated from The Smiths. That’s not to say it’s awful or anything, it’s well written as all Creative Writing MFA projects better be, and it’s got some themes…these themes might lend themselves to a nice Sesame Street-style game of “one of these things is not like the other,” but they’re themes and those are things that people point out when defending their work or angling for a reason to leave in something that should have been trimmed. It’s okay. It got published, it’s over now.

I do seek out books set in boarding schools because I’ve written one majorly epic tale (well, I’ve got two parts of the trilogy done, one is gloriously available) set in a boarding school and I never went to one, just needed the isolation for my story, so I am interested in how other people deal with them. One fundamental difference between many of the books I’ve read set in boarding schools that never ceases to surprise me (even though it shouldn’t) and my own approach to them is that a lot of the dealings revolve directly around rich people and rich people’s kids letting you know they’re rich. I do not know why I fail to remember that rich people send their children to boarding school and make donations and influence shit but for some reason I forget that every single time I start reading another book with a boarding school setting. My characters are in boarding school because the school offered scholarships in exchange for a fairly hefty sacrifice that they were not initially aware of and that doesn’t involve money – so I guess that’s what I expect now. Even in books without science fiction and horror overtones.

Beyond rich kids doing stuff and behaving as one would stereotypically expect, The Headmaster Ritual is about a teacher and his class and his emotional issues (break-up pre-teaching assignment) and in the end it’s also about North Korea and Model UN. Yeah. North Korea. Themes! Actually, Antrim included several useful-to-know facts about North Korea that I can no longer remember…but I do remember thinking “Hey, good job doing your research.” However, Antrim did not involve the Kim Jong Il puppet from Team America:World Police. Why?!

How many Model UN delegates can fit behind this pillow? Morty represents Moldova, because their 2005 Eurovision entry was really entertaining.

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Filed under Books, Dawn of the Interns, Night of the Squirrels, Review

There’s only so much blood and fur to go around.

14. Deadlocked – Charlaine Harris

Holy developments, Batman! Finally. Something felt like it was happening. On occasion I could tell that the last book was being foreshadowed, but I’ll let that go because some relationships and plot points managed to come together into a story where stuff happened and, overall, foreshadowing is not bad. Being able to see the hand of the author smacking you in the face with a cluviel dor, on the other hand, um, I won’t say anything about that either.

Sookie ran quite the gamut of emotions, which was great to read. She seemed to be really taking stock of her place in the world and since this is the penultimate book of the series, she picked a really good time to do that. Harris picked a good time to scale the world back a bit as well. At times while reading the series it felt like I needed a roster of all the characters so I’d know who the hell Sookie was talking about now – I can say that I’m a fan of combining people to make the action tighter, why were there so many people around when Victor was murdered? So many loose ends, so little time to tie them up. In the end of Deadlocked the world got a little smaller and that’s for the betterment of the ending. Certain characters matter more to the story than others and deserve a proper send off. It’s a little hard to montage in books too, I mean, you could tell your readers what song to play while they read the tiny vignettes about what happens to everyone that may or may not happen, but they may feel that the books are ruined by the song choice. You can’t please everyone in a montage. Montage.

Ham-fisted foreshadowing: Ozymandias may appear more often. He may not though, he has a bladder stone and those things only arrive to take guinea pigs from me right after we bond significantly.

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