Tag Archives: Peregrine

Art Intrusion #D06: “Road Worrier” edition

The traveling art show continues!! Next up GeekCraft Expo in St. Louis! It’s tomorrow!

I’m tempted to do that “Picnic game” they did on one of Daria’s best episodes, “Road Worrier,” only I’m not going to Alternapalooza, I’m going to GeekCraft Expo and I’m bringing…

Asbestos insulation, brine shrimp, the cryogencially frozen head of Walt Disney, a dromedary, a Eurocentric view of world history, and…

Finny as Samurai Finny with actual Finny! (Actual Finny will not be present. He’s not used to being around very many people, plus, not allowed.)

 

Daria, Jane, Trent, and Jesse did not get past “E” so now we’re in the clear and can skip to “I” for “iPiggie”

Ozma takes out one of my Liv Funko Pops in order to assert her dominance as the Liv in iPiggie – it’s a painting and a postcard.

 

Of course, now we skip from “I” to “P” for Porgegrine, available on posters and stickers and postcards so you can share the inspiration that a guinea pig Valkyrie can bring.

Some grumpy little icons.

 

GeekCraft Expo St. Louis is July 28&29 in the Grant Gym at Webster University. On Saturday it runs 10-5 and Sunday 10-4. Many hours to pick up something from me, the only person who ever has guinea pig art at these shows. It’s my niche and I’m sticking to it.

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“Oh, why don’t you go find a wall socket and stick your tongue in it. That’ll give you a charge.”

31. Secret Santa – D.E. Athkins

At last Deathkins has found the secret to dealing with her whim to have too many characters – trap them on an island! It totally makes sense for high school kids to be jet setting away to a private island during the holiday break! They don’t need to see their families, they need to please Djuna because she’s popular (kind of) and smokes in the bathroom and invited people who used to be couples, are currently couples, and the new kid…and because her family owns an island but doesn’t supervise their daughter. They let the “help” do that.

Of course, like all decent Santa-based games involving deception, there’s kidnapping and teenage insult marathons. Look, Neal, nobody likes you. You were a crappy boyfriend and you’re a crappy houseguest too- in the hole with you! Now let’s all watch the tide come in.

Horace, Pere, Merri, and Danger are not up for teenager games in the winter beyond musical blankets.

Mixtape:

1. “akva” – Kauan
2. “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” – Pilgrim Travelers
3. “Christmas Morning Blues” – Victoria Spivey
4. “Papa Barrence’s Christmas” – Barrence Whitfield & the Savages
5. “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” – Electric Six
6. “Dark Christmas” – Dex Romweber Duo
7. “I Slept Through Christmas” – Ruby Boots
8. “Christmas Time for My Penis” – The Vandals
9. “Christmas Time Blues” – Trainwreck Riders
10. “Christmas Time Will Soon Be Over” – Fiddlin’ John Carson
11. “Christmas Blues” – Ralph Willis
12. “Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis” – Tom Waits
13. “Christmas in Oblivion” – The Yawpers
14. “The Wrong Way to Celebrate Christmas” – Rev. Edward W. Clayborn
15. “nila” – Kauan
16. “Happy New Year Blues” – Blind Lemon Jefferson

Present that’s not really a present number three – House of the Merricat.

Merricat would’ve intimidated Tom Noonan out of trying to impregnate her with the antichrist. She was the kind of pig that could do that. She’s also the kind of pig that looks awesome on a throw pillow.

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Mostly pictures of my pigs trying not to be in pictures with art I’m bringing to SUPERCON…

Have I mentioned that I’m going to be at SUPERCON? A few times? Well, here’s one more mention featuring works I’m actually bringing with me (unless something terrible and luggage related happens, then I’ll basically just have posters and postcards and two paintings):

First off, we have Pere-Barb, from my set of Stranger Things parodies, Danger Things. Peregrine does not want to be seen with Pere-Barb, I guess she doesn’t like her jacket.

 

Salem, like most guinea pigs, does not want to look at me the same way he looks in the painting. He’s following in the footsteps of greatness by being uncooperative. Also, for some reason this is hard to find on Threadless, so here’s a link. Real Guineas.

 

Brand new – Herdin’ 2 Electric Pigaloo, just in time if you need inspiration to save a community center of your very own! Ozma is running away from the responsibility. Running away – to Paris. Always go to Paris.

 

Pere is proud enough of her criminal empire to be photographed with the posters that you can ONLY get from me in person. Only. I’ll have them in my jacket.

 

And finally, these are most of the blind paintings that I will have. Now there are way more guinea pigs than skulls! (I do love skulls, there will be more skulls.) They are wrapped up and I have no idea which one is which because I was not in the room while they were wrapped. Each one is $5 and based on a Nancy Drew end paper. They’re literary. Like me and possibly you.

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“Ask me anything. I took two years of high school.” – Kassandra with a ‘K’

37. Daughters of Darkness – L.J. Smith

Moving in to the house next door is a very perilous thing to do. It doesn’t matter who you’re next door to – paranoid Tom Hanks in a bathrobe (I can’t remember his character’s name in The Burbs), Gladys Kravitz, Charley Brewster, Valerie and Courtney…whomever, it’s going to end up with somebody getting all up in your business. And if that business is hiding out from your brother, Night World patriot Ash Redfern, well, this is a Night World book so he may just get distracted by finding his soul mate because she read Pride and Prejudice and give a dramatic speech long enough for you to go back on the lam.

Peregrine and Merricat are on the lookout for rogue werewolves, vampires, goats, warlock Julian Sands, and lovelorn teenagers.

Mixtape:

1. “A Warning on the Occult” – Pentagram Home Video
2. “A Pox Upon You” – Wolfmen of Mars
3. “Savage” – Electric Citizen
4. “Patterns of Evil” – Electric Wizard
5. “Black Dress” – Brass Hearse
6. “Lord of Misrule” – Blood Ceremony
7. “Lilith” – Devil Electric
8. “Hexed” – Terrortron
9. “Night Witches” – True Widow
10. “Children of the Grave” – Black Sabbath
11. “Eighties” – Killing Joke
12. “Della Strega” – Wolfmen of Mars
13. “Dirty Women” – Black Sabbath
14. “Triple Stones” – All of Them Witches
15. “Escape to the Lair” – Terrortron
16. “An Exploration of Black Magic” – Pentagram Home Video

 

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Cult cookies.

7. Waking the Witch – Kelley Armstrong

I read the Otherworld series in a very random order, and this was the first witch-focused book I read. I didn’t know Savannah’s back-story from Stolen and I definitely recommend reading that before reading this one. It would’ve been nice to have some frame of reference for how Armstrong deals with witchcraft before reading Waking the Witch. Armstrong has a lot of characters in her Otherworld series, so even the minimal summaries left me a little lost because I hadn’t at least read Stolen. I can also tell you that my “review” of Stolen will not help you. No it won’t.

Savannah is a likeable protagonist and she’s headstrong but manages to be fun to follow along with as she tries to solve some witchcraft-adjacent murders in a small town. She has good investigative skills (and now I know how she learned them, now, so much later) but still acts like the twenty-one-year-old she’s supposed to be and that was an improvement over Armstrong’s YA work for me, where it felt like she was consistently talking down to the audience. So now I know she can represent slightly-above-youth youths without being patronizing.

Ozma: Plucky, ready for action. Peregrine: Sleepy, ready to send Ozma into the fray.

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“Is that a guy following us with a knife? Maybe it’s a chupacabra.” (Kyle Kinane)

83. Tales of the Otherworld – Kelley Armstrong

In the introduction to this collection, Armstrong mentions that although she put these stories up on her website for free essentially as a thank you to her readers, they were still consistently pursuing her to publish them traditionally…which is one fun aspect of the great ebook debate. Currently at the university I work for, they mention repeatedly that the ebooks they’ve bought are being used. In the department I work for, if you let a patron know we already own a book in eform, they send you an email saying they want a copy they can hold in their hands. It’s an ouroboros. Armstrong’s solution to feeling like she had to sell something she was trying to give away on purpose was to make it a charitable endeavor and to add a new story – a lovely compromise. Tales is the second volume of previously free tales and although the other collection dealt exclusively with the male werewolves in her oeuvre, this volume still deals with some of werewolves, thankfully.

My “reward” for my readers involves these adorable photos of my guinea pigs. Look how free and adorable Ozma is. Freely enjoy

“Bewitched” – After Elena, my second favorite character of Armstrong’s Otherworld is Eve Levine. She’s a witch, so my favor surprised me because I really enjoy her werewolf stories more than any others, but she’s an ornery witch. “Bewitched” is the new, non-already free story in this collection and it’s about her relationship with Kristof Nast, the before-time of Savannah’s story. Yay!

“Birthright” – Logan’s introduction to his pack, of course, he didn’t even know he was a werewolf…oh, those absentee dads. He comes to Stonehaven and tells Clay he looks like he’s in a frat. I like Logan, he was much more levelheaded than some of the other wolves and so it’s nice to get a few more snippets of his character.

Ozma is pretty sure her birthright involves not being stuck on a couch with Horace and Peregrine. She’s not wrong.

“Beginnings” – I thought this was also the title of that two part Buffy finale where she has sex with Angel and he goes evil-Angelus. That’s “Becomings,” but in Googling to double check myself, I found that there’s some Buffy fan-fiction called “Beginnings;” I forget about fan-fiction sometimes… Moving on, it would have been a nice coincidence that both this story of Elena and Clay meeting and Buffy and Angel falling apart would be called the same thing, but they’re not, so… Moving on again. Elena struggling for money in college and being underestimated and antagonized by Clay at first is quite fun to read. It also really grounds Clay in his anthropological background, which always seems like it might be a put-on when reading some of the books. It’s there, mentioned randomly, but as someone who has studied both art and anthropology sometimes it feels like when they make Tara Reid a scientist in a horror movie. The words are there, but do they understand them? Having Clay act like that toward Elena proved to me that he is a solid visiting faculty member at a university. Throw in a scene of finding a book they said they lost a year ago in their office and calling the library to ask that they be reimbursed for the bill and it would be complete.

“Just bring your books back, Finny!” Ozma, as a librarian.

“Wedding Bell Hell” – Paige and Lucas get married. It’s like a reunion of all kinds of fun characters and a little mixed up but positive and that’s how Paige always seems to me anyway.

“The Case of El Chupacabra” – I never really expected Armstrong to branch into mentioning Chupacabras. Ever. They seem far too far south for her Canadian characters, but then again, there’s some stories in Miami, but it’s still weird to see Mexican goat suckers involved in one of her stories. I mean, it’s not really there, but, still. Weird. This one is a case for Paige and Lucas and of course gets in to all the Cortez Cabal intrigue and those aspects of the Otherworld have always bored me. I’m just not super into corporate/mobster/overly powerful dudes in suits doing shitty things or Al Pacino in The Devil’s Advocate-ing. I would’ve been happier if a real Chupacabra was in charge, which is why I keep capitalizing that word when I don’t think I need to.

Ozma escapes the plastic alligator skull, the closest thing I have to a chupacabra.

 

 

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“We [don’t] rob banks.”

I have some news… it turns out that Pere and I are partners in art crime. Alleged art crime. We came, we parodied, CBS Studios and Disney/Lucasfilm let us know they have no sense of humor and enjoy censoring the artistic work of poor people and they were allowed to because only the rich get away with shit that’s protected. Only Pere-based works have been targeted at this time and I find it very annoying and irksome in a “Why just my ornery ladypig?” way. I have experienced much of the bullying and shaming for being a lady who isn’t a doormat, and a lady who likes things lots of other people don’t, and also at one point I was shamed for being confident about my opinions and I didn’t realize it till later when the person backstabbed me…so…these are all things that make me say Grrr. That said and throw pillows and hoodies no longer a possibility, I do have both paintings and also some posters and postcards. Saturday and Sunday I will be showing my works at the GeekCraft Expo in Madison. Come get your own piece of future criminalized art if you want.

Come get some. Peregrine’s in confrontation mode on her log platform pillow.

 

We’ll never do it again. Peregrine and I are totally done with our parody schemes. *wink*

 

Samurai Finny is really fast. Like so fast.

 

Finny and the Finnybeast. He so loves having his photo taken. Just always sits pleasantly still…

Pere and Horace, admiring themselves in my Danger Things parody works.

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Adventures by the pool of sadness

Art break!

I’ve been painting again, because I’m participating in the GeekCraft Expo in Madison on March 3-4, it’s at the Masonic Center and it’s free to get in. Free to get in! That’s unlike any of the other shows I’ve done…anyway, another show means new paintings had to be done and this year I’ve been expanding my selection of guinea pigs on TV with:

Look at these boys on their bikes. They are ready for an adventure in the upside-down. They’re even wearing jackets. Sensible.

 

My adventurous little trio of boars – Ozymandias, Danger Crumples, and Horace – got out of the graveyard and into the guinea pig version of Hawkins.

And then there’s Pere-Barb:

Sitting by the pool of sadness, just like every other girl who was super cool in high school. Eat your heart out, actual cool kids.

Peregrine channels her inner lovable loser feelings to be Barb just before everything went tits up for her. Poor Barb. Poor everyone who understood how she felt sitting by that pool, alone, sent away from her best friend who had a shot at being cool… I certainly can’t relate. *cough*

I will have postcards of both of these paintings and the actual paintings on display and technically priced at the GeekCraft Expo, which is on March 3-4 in Madison at the Masonic Center. I will also have more paintings and more postcards and posters and prints I made with my human hands (which will also be visible) at the show. I’m not bringing Peregrine, but, that’s because her true beauty is hard to witness in person. It’s very distracting. Horace too, he’s like, really cute in person.

Anyway, sorry about that bragging, but everyone can enjoy images of Pere and Horace (and Ozy and Danger Crumples and more!) in person at the show OR, if you can’t make it to Madison, I have made them available on stuff and things via my Redbubble page:

Pere-Barb

Danger Things

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Face Your Demons – Supernatural starts now, on TNT

36. Skin of the Soul – Lisa Tuttle, ed.

This beautifully titled short story collection is subtitled “New horror stories by women” and was published by The Women’s Press, London, in 1990. It features some familiar writers like Karen Joy Fowler, Joyce Carol Oates, Tuttle herself, and Joan Aiken (who I mainly know from her Edward Gorey illustrated Wolves of Willoughby Chase and other wolf books); it also features several writers I’ve never heard of and two of those are from Texas and their stories in the anthology are some of their earliest professional publications. That’s pretty cool.

Peregrine is basically a professional model for paintings and photos. That’s also pretty cool. Muse pigs are cool.

Here are some of my thoughts about the stories that stood out to me:

Melanie Tem – “Lightning Rod” – A literally horrific exploration of that martyr complex women are societally bred to have. Oh, I’ll do this thing that hurts – No, I will! And so on and so on until someone collapses under the weight of trying to please everyone. This story was both scary and exhausting.

Suzy McKee Charnas – “Boobs” – A very fun little werewolf story.

Karen Joy Fowler – “The Night Wolf” – Different kind of wolf. Not fun.

This is as close to howling at the moon as Pere’s going to get.

Ann Walsh – “Getting Away From It All” – Very reminiscent of Jack Torrance at the bar in The Shining, except, in this story, the mom isn’t blaming everyone else for her own issues. It’s vague and surreal and also quite grounded in that “I was trying to do something nice!” feeling that can exhaust and overwhelm us.

There are quite a few pieces in this collection that really pick at parts of me and so for once I’m reviewing a horror collection that actually got under my skin. Nice work/Damn it, ladies.

Lisa Tuttle – “Mr. Elphinstone’s Hands” – So much mucus in this story. SO much. It’s slimy and sticky and evokes the shame of hyperhidrosis and living in the spiritualist times and paranoia and, well, yuck.

Peregrine knows which dead piggies she’d like to conjure with mucus hands but…no one in this house has ectoplasmic abilities. Sorry, Pere.

G.K. Sprinkle – “Serena Sees” – Quite the tense evening over the psychic lines. The anger that people use as an excuse to hurt other who haven’t actually done anything to them comes through in this story – especially the anger of an entitled dude who didn’t get what he wanted. A smile. A correct psychic prediction. A date. All resulting in some dude who thinks he has the right to hurt women.

Melissa Mia Hall – “Listening” – The earring tells her things. Things that no one will listen to…like the many times I have correctly predicted something bad happening (a broken window, for instance) that wouldn’t have happened if the persons involved had just listened to me. I don’t even have a magic earring. My ears aren’t even pierced. Still no one listens.

Anne Goring – “Hantu-Hantu” – A Barb and Nancy for 1990. Except in this story, Nancy gets the roaches. She goes after the guy, gets “chosen” in the swampy tropics, and gets the roaches. Barb…well, she still basically gets to go the Upside Down and she kinda gets the roaches too.

You just go ahead and try to give Pere the roaches. She’ll come out of the log tunnel and cut you. With her mind. Also maybe her very sharp incisors.

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“The Gift of the Magi,” it’s not, but, whatever. Be like the squirrel.

21. Darkness Visible – William Styron

One last post for the year… On a holiday that can be a really bad time for a lot of people. I generally have a hard time around Christmas, last year’s was particularly hard for me and I ended up coming back from my time at home in quite a bad place, which would not have made any sense if you saw me on my last day at work before the holiday. I was in a ridiculously good mood, also for no particular reason beyond having had one very amusing conversation the night before and getting “Get Lucky” by Daft Punk stuck in my head. I also listened to the whole of the True Story of Abner Jay that day. Vacillating back and forth between “Get Lucky” and Abner Jay doesn’t sound like a good idea on paper, but I do love a random juxtaposition and The True Story of Abner Jay is so fucking good. So good. I love that mule song, damnit. After work I drove through a solid whiteout snow storm for three hours to my original home land and I couldn’t listen to either song in the car; but, I don’t even remember what I listened to because I was concentrating so hard on not sliding off the road, or into anyone else, or losing where I was, etc. Inclement weather driving is not fun, but I have a lot of experience with it.

Anyway, I tend to feel quite lonely in places I’m not supposed to, at times I shouldn’t, and it seems like almost any time I have one really, really good day or feel actual happiness, soon after my brain thinks the other shoe’s going to drop. And it does, regardless of whether or not it really dropped. It’s like it wants to make sure I know “nothing gold can stay.” I know. I get it. So, by the time I was driving back to my current city of residence, it wasn’t possible for me to be remotely pleasant. I was definitely under the impression I was going from feeling bad to another place to feel worse with nothing to look forward to, clearly, any amusements were already completely over. Quite hopeless. And then when I got home I checked my little internet messages and got really, really, really upset, because I was trying to confirm I had nothing to look forward to and that my brain was rightly despairing. Nothing super-bleak can stay, either, it turns out, as I had one from someone I never expected and they did something I never expected in that message and additionally, they clearly wanted to see me soon. What a bastard. I made sure to mess up their hair when I drove to them immediately after letting them know I read it by calling them a bastard. They didn’t even know what they were doing – which is exactly how my depression breaks every time, some unexpected, tiny, usually absurd thing. So keep waiting it out and maybe your own grumpy metal Santa will come for you.

As for Darkness Visible, it’s another stone cold classic – and very short. I didn’t think it would be that short considering the number of times I’ve seen it mentioned in other writings about depression.

Instead of really discussing it, I’m just going to share some random chunks I related to and enjoyed or saw someone else I know in:

“…being engulfed by a toxic and unnameable tide that obliterated any enjoyable response to the living world.”

“…in the absence of hope we must still struggle to survive, and so we do – by the skin of our teeth.”

“…unwilling to accept its own gathering deterioration, the mind announces to its indwelling consciousness that it is the body with its perhaps correctable defects – not the precious and irreplaceable mind – that is going haywire.”

“It is a storm indeed, but a storm of murk.”

“Most people in the grip of depression at its ghastliest are, for whatever reason, in a state of unrealistic hopelessness, torn by exaggerated ills and fatal threats that bear no resemblance to actuality.”

Mini-playlist, my gift of absurd juxtaposition for you, gentle reader –

“My Mule” – Abner Jay
“Get Lucky” – Daft Punk
“Little Acorns” – White Stripes
“Never Gonna Give You Up” – Rick Astley

 

These boys “love” their sweaters.

 

All four of my Christmas pigs (Horace, Ozma, Peregrine, and Danger Crumples) and their tree.

 

Horace, Ozma, Peregrine, and Danger Crumples are sort of stuck, but, like, festively stuck.

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