Tag Archives: Histrionics

If a copy of Dracula mated with a copy of The Da Vinci Code and the offspring was repeatedly slapped round the face with the Manhunter soundtrack…

49. Blood Legacy – Prudence Foster

Florida- scene of many neon-hued, blood-soaked evenings scored by synthesizers. I imagine if this novel had made it onto film they would have gone with off-brand classical played on a broken keytar – extra loud cues every time main character Angelique has a hysterical moment. Sometimes characters take things in stride or try to make sense of bizarre situations like a pale, apparently enticing (from the description, he has terrible hair) Count courting a bookstore owner with a fondness for overreaction, Angelique just goes all out with the hand waving and wailing and frankly, I was hoping she’d just give in to the dark side. I think she would have been a lot happier…but that meddling police lieutenant got in the way, as they do when you need someone with a solid moustache and a sport coat to keep the histrionic bookstore owner from realizing their destiny.

Side note, while trying to remember the lead character’s first name (my copy of this ridiculous narrative wasn’t handy), I found that two of the reviews on Amazon got the author’s name wrong – Who is this ‘Prudence Board’ that writes such amazing works? – while extolling the virtues of Blood Legacy. Suspicious.

Horace doing his best Halloween version of Manhunter. So dramatic and orangey. Do you see?

Horace doing his best Halloween version of Manhunter. So dramatic and orangey. Do you see?

 

 

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Poetry haunts everyone in different ways.

29. The Ghosts of Now – Joan Lowery Nixon

Angie Dupree’s family including her career driven father, barely-covering it up alcoholic mother, and teen brother Jeremy move to a tiny town in Texas and stumble into some terrible rich kid highjinks. I thought there were going to be ghosts. There were no ghosts and barely even any suspense of ghosts…sigh. Anyway, segue, when Jeremy ends up in a coma, Angie’s method for solving the mystery of what happened to him involves invading his drawers and reading his poetry (that’s where the “ghosts of now” came from – more sigh), harassing some girl named Debbie on the phone and by going over to her home repeatedly (geez, Angie…sigh), and bringing to light the town’s dividing lines between people who moved in to make money off of oil, locals without money, and locals with money; technically, there aren’t enough pages to make all that work out to a sensible point, not with Angie spending so much time yelling at people and visiting the hospital to tell Jeremy’s bizarre harem of elderly bedsitters to leave the room. Again, I thought there were going to be ghosts. Pffft.

“Rich kids always think their highjinks are the best highjinks even though they never are.” – Horace

“Rich kids always think their highjinks are the best highjinks even though they never are.” – Horace

 

Mixtape –
1.    “The Killing Moon” – Echo & the Bunnymen
2.    “Web in Front” – Archers of Loaf
3.    “You Blew Me Off” – Bobby Bare Jr.
4.    “Never Let Me Down Again” – Depeche Mode
5.    “(You’ll Never Be) So Wrong” – Bass Drum of Death
6.    “Cherry Cola” – Eagles of Death Metal
7.    “Grass” – The Black Ryder
8.    “An Occurrence at 450 South Third Street” – The Black Angels
9.    “Evil Blooms” – Dum Dum Girls
10.    “Right On, Frankenstein!” – Death From Above 1979
11.    “Stevie” – Kasabian
12.    “Ghosts” – UNKLE
13.    “Swollen Summer” – The Bravery
14.    “Psycho Killer” – Talking Heads
15.    “I Disappear” – The Faint

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Filed under Books, Review, YA Megamix Summer

Two trappers find human feet in a pile of mush. This is one job the carpet cleaners mess up badly.

39. Overdue – Richie Tankersley Cusick

This book is seventeen years old. That means I’m old. Dude. I mean, I knew I was old mentally with my luddite tendencies when it comes to television, phones, cassette players, and the stone wheels on my horse cart, but still. Because this book is technically a mystery it doesn’t seem appropriate to let anyone in on who the killer is without saying “Spoiler Alert,” but really this book is old enough that I shouldn’t have to. It’s a dilemma that took up a whole paragraph.

Anyway, the killer is my favorite part because, as one might guess from the title, this book is about a library (sort of) and finally, finally, the librarian is the killer! And really she only killed one employee and some girl who wasn’t very nice to begin with and maimed or injured several others. I did take issue with her reasoning – an unrequited love from like forever ago with narrator Kathleen’s father. Kathleen also happens to be a library employee who never should have been trusted with minding the library while the killer librarian was “gone” but still in town setting up elaborate maiming scenarios that she marked with copies of Anna Karenina and The Phantom of the Opera.

Kathleen is a traditional Richie Tankersley Cusick heroine, she and Martha from Trick or Treat could be best friends who scream and fly into histrionics every time something happens in the shadows or they lose track of the male who is supposed to be in the same building. Kathleen spent an awful lot of time not doing anything library related while in the library. She wandered around scaring herself, she didn’t shelve anything, she barely checked out any books, she went to the hospital and let a non-employee mind the building, she had no concept of time, she let some random college student behind the counter, and she never had the keys to the door. Frankly, the librarian could have murdered her for being a terrible employee alone. I was honestly surprised that the maiming and murder was not part of an elaborate attempt to get Kathleen to quit. I’ve watched a lot of Deadly Women, it wouldn’t surprise me; but Miss Finch, librarian, was not given much of a personality and then she walked into the library after she set it on fire. Nobody respects libraries enough.

Pammy’s got a book! Run! Or if you’re Kathleen the protagonist, scream and flail and refuse to calm down! Seriously though, people should not tell people to calm down, it does not work.

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