Death and melons

I know that no one can live forever, but I’m very sad to hear about Elmore Leonard’s  passing. He’s definitely leaving a seriously impressive body of work behind, including Out of Sight, which was such a thoroughly solid and fun reading experience – so rare – that I just wanted to read it again when I was done the first time. I was planning to post my semi-positive review of Mr. Majestyk tomorrow, but I guess I’ll post it today because of all the authors I could have been planning to review, I chose Elmore Leonard again. And that’s probably not significant – but regardless of any missteps, the man was a national treasure and a master of dialogue.

14. Mr. Majestyk – Elmore Leonard

So it’s been slim readin’s around these parts this summer and that may continue for a while. At least the next two months or so. I finally got myself a real library job that’s suited to my wants and talents and that involves one aspect of librarianship I have no experience with…this last part seems like an odd reason to hire me, but I’m glad they did. Unless it goes horribly wrong somehow- I’ve only been applying for five years and I have a mere nine full years of experience to my name in the field, I’m always filled with uncertainty. And I’m definitely not alone in that when it comes to employment. Anyway, good news makes me nauseous, and right now I’m trying to move, and that also makes me nauseous – so, reviewish time!

My path through Elmore Leonard’s works so far has been totally haphazard and I enjoy his writing a fair bit; however, sometimes I’m just not into it. Mr. Majestyk was interesting, like reading an action movie, but I wanted more. The female character was no Karen Sisco, I can tell you that. I don’t even remember her name and I totally read this book this year. This year! I remember that there was one other female character and she could have easily traded places with Bridget Fonda’s character in the film Jackie Brown (I have read Rum Punch, that was slow compared to Out of Sight) except that she reads instead of endlessly watching TV.

I feel like Mr. Majestyk could have said “Get off my lawn” at some point. I’m also not sure what kind of melons he had. I would like to know about the melons. They could be honeydews or my nemesis from childhood breakfasts at places where they didn’t know my preferences cantaloupes aka muskmelon aka creeping bad taste in the back of my throat. If I don’t know if I like your produce, I’m not sure I can side with you, vengeful farmer Mr. Majestyk. Although I certainly understand the issues of spoilage, from a harvesting and a use standpoint. Speaking of: Seriously, plastic-box packaged salad providers, if I have to toss half the butter lettuce when I open the lid and peel back the plastic, which is always on the same day I bought the package because the guinea pigs demanded a new treat- you got the use-by date wrong and I hate you (this has happened to me three times now). And Ozymandias will eat your souls when he finds you. The boy needs his butter lettuce. He can’t have romaine, man, he’s susceptible to bladder stones.

Thaddeus and Pammy bicker like they could have been Leonard characters.

“Tell me more about these melons; Pammy is bogarting all the parsley.” – Thaddeus


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