“She has to go. She knows we suck.”

52. Scott Pilgrim’s Precious Little Life – Bryan Lee O’Malley

Ahh, Scott Pilgrim’s Precious Little Life. The title really says it all for me. I enjoyed this whole series of comics, technically I enjoyed them quite a bit. I love the way Bryan O’Malley has drawn the characters and their environment. I enjoyed the film as well (excellent soundtrack and Edgar Wright was the only director who could truly understand what needed to happen on screen for this to work out and I think it did). I just don’t like Ramona and Scott. I disliked both of them for their very realistic qualities and I’ve just known so many Scotts in their perpetual adolescences and Ramonas with their inabilities to stick to their choices and at my age they’re still running around annoying you while you try to get your shit together and wonder how they keep their apartments with all of their commitment to running around following their own ridiculous whims. Damn you gullible boys and your Manic Pixie Dream Girls! That’s not my phrase, by the way. I think it’s Nathan Rabin’s, but it might be someone else from the AV Club in their infinite wisdom of calling out those damn girls who inspire you to break free from your uptight clothes-wearing lifestyle and follow your dream of goat herding and spontaneity into total ruin and oblivion right before they dump you for the exact thing they said they didn’t want. Anyway, this is going to be a long one because I’m going through the whole series and the movie. Right now.

As with any comic, the background characters make it for me. I don’t trust protagonists to entertain me, they’re too busy with their own shit. Like Scott in this book and all the other ones. Also, I read this too long ago to remember it well enough separately from the movie. My review, my rambling, my inabilities… Here’s Mortemer:

Morty and his precious little fleece blanket and staring corner.

So the first one introduced us to Scott and his questionable taste in girlfriends. Not too far in the distant past of the city I live in, a 23 (Scott’s 22) year old was arrested for taking some high school girls to a “community center party” which happened to be in his basement. Just saying. There’s a reason that sometimes girls like me have to tell boys that it’s not a good idea to hang out with jailbait. Be smart, don’t engage, boys. However, we also meet Sex Bob-Omb, the band composed on very amusing people, Wallace, and I think we meet Julie but I can’t remember. Either way, I relate to Julie. Especially movie Julie. I can make the censorship box fly out in front of my face too. And I have the ability to sneer mightily and make demands. Woo, Julie!

53. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World – Yay, Kim back story! Also, I liked the attitude of Ramona’s second evil ex-boyfriend. And actually, I like the idea of forcing Scott to defeat all of these exes – it’s kind of like forcing him to really think about whether or not he really, really wants to date Ramona and how ludicrous the baggage that all people carry into their dramatic-town twenties is and here’s Mortemer again:

Mortemer’s baggage has hay in it.

57. Scott Pilgrim & the Infinite Sadness – And we have reached my favorite of all of the books! It also happens to have inspired my favorite scene in the movie, which is mostly what I’ll be discussing. Okay, Brandon Routh and his vegan powers. Now, I am not interested in becoming a vegan, partially because of the level of smug I would apparently have to achieve. It would be hard. However, I think that the concept of veganism was perfectly dealt with in this series and the film. Brandon Routh gets a lot of crap for his portrayal of Superman, which I read somewhere was more like him playing Christopher Reeve playing Superman, and that totally makes more sense; I believe he also may have received some crap for his portrayal of Dylan Dog. I feel that the scene of Brandon-Todd discussing his vegan powers with that major smirk of doom and then the look of horror and whiny tone when those powers were taken away by the vegan police were enough proof that if he had just winked a little bit more when saying every line of dialogue from Dylan Dog, it would have been way more awesome. I sat in the theatre going “I know you could do this better! You’re Iowan for pete’s sake, we know how to use sarcasm and this is totally meant to be played as snarky-jerk detective! Wink, goddamnit!” And then I kicked the back of the seat of the girl in front of me for getting on her damn phone. His cameo in Zack and Miri was super awesome too. Wink more, Brandon, I know you can do it.

By the power of corncobs, use your Iowan sarcasm powers!

58. Scott Pilgrim Gets It Together – Yep. Choices. Oh no! And Julie! Who would have thought that Julie would be the catalyst for forced choice making? Nope, certainly not me. Morty?

Morty: Why, why must you force me to make choices between my nature of whimsicalness and my responsibilities, Twiglet? Twiglet: Are you kidding me? Get off my fleece.

59. Scott Pilgrim vs. the Universe – I really enjoyed the party scene in this one. I wish they had represented this highly amusing scene in the movie; however, instead I got “Garbage Truck” and “Threshold” that get stuck in my head all the time in a pleasant way. And that epic concert by Crash and the Boys.

Soooooo sad. Bath time and post-bath time make Mortemer remember the work of Crash and the Boys fondly.

60. Scott Pilgrim’s Finest Hour – I have to say I did enjoy the ending to this series. Dealing and stuff. Nice.

And it’s over? Curling up for a nap.

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