So this one time, this stuff happened, and then, like, things also happened…I guess you had to be there.

29. Zombie Blondes – Brian James

Popular kids are really dead. Outsider moves to new town, finds other outsider friend who is a much more interesting character than she is. Outsider girl succumbs to the lure of dead-people popularity. Guess what she has to do to really become one of them? That’s the essence of this book and it feels remarkably familiar. So much tell, so little show.

Belvedere demands results from Danger Crumples’ efforts at writing a novel. “But I’m only five months old! I just cleared two pounds! I don’t even know the difference between a metaphor and a simile yet!” – protests Danger Crumples.

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